2003-03-13 - 2:10 p.m.

Got a fun gyno appointment today. Oh, yippe. ^_~
Saw Andy again last night...spent the night. Didn't actually have sex, though...I can't believe this was the third time I spent the night. And I fell asleep in his arms. (Cue: Awwwww) ^^


But now, we have something very special.
A very good online friend of mine, and RPing buddy, wrote this utterly gorgeous essay, on courage. Read it. It's definitely worth your time.
I'm not one who places extreme importance on courage, but she obviously does.
Obviously, please do not steal, or else I'll have to hunt you down and slaughter you in cold blood. Or perhaps Anne will. It'll be her choice! =D

But now...on with the essay!!

What is Courage?

By Anne Roebke


Courage is a word that sparks the imaginateion with thoughts of fictional, tall, strong, and seemingly fearless warriors in the minds of young and old. Yet, that is a facade that hides the true nature of courage. Robert Louis Stevenson once wrote:"In each of us there resides two separate natures, two distinct personalities-One dark and one light-one good, and one evil. It is the curse of mankind that these two extemes should be constantly at war." I believe that it is true of fear and courage. Courage is more than a fictional warrrior, and it lurks unseen and unrealized for days, months and even years at a time until it is brought into the light of everyday life.
Courage is daring to be different in a world where messages of conformity are all around. It is waking up in the morning and putting on dark, suede, Rennaissance like boots, a pair of black pants, and an embroidered white top, and topping it all off with a blood red cloak and driving to school where you know people will stare, laugh and withdraw from you. It is risking that precious feeling called acceptance for a chance to walk out from behind the facade.
Courage is looking inside yourself. Analyzing each of your thoughts and feelings. Finding that you have a problem and that it needs to be solved. Courage is admitting that you are not fine, and that there are problems going on in your life. It is risking your pride and recalling a specific account of your feelings about the problems in your life to a large group of strangers, who you don't know if they will take you seriously and respect them, or disregard you and scorn you for your feelings or if they'll look down on you for trying to keep the most intimate details secret.
Courage is not giving up when things are looking bad. Courage is not taking your life when you know that the option of suicide is lurking in your mind, and it is tempting you with thoughts of taking away all your problems, because your life has gotten out of control.
Courage is continuing on in life when you have been emotionally devastated by the loss of a friend or a loved one. It is waking up each day knowing that the face that you once woke up to each morning is no longer there, and will never return to you, and continuing in your day, when every picture and every sound makes you think of that one person. The loss of my Leader Dog Puppy, Cokie, really devistated me. She had been mine from the begining. I had a very special bond with her, and when the time came to say good bye forever came, it hit me long and hard.
Courage is asking for help from a friend. Courage is trying to ignore the raging, burning, torturous questions of: Will they help me? Will they think me a fool for asking them? Will they expose the feelings I wish to keep secret to those who I wish not to know what my true feelings are?
Courage is forgiving those who have hurt you so deeply that you have felt the agony of scorn, the malice of undeserved anger, and the wrath of jealousy, It is over-looking the fear that the terror will come again.
Courage is being the new kid in school. It is trying to ignore the several feelings that you don't fit in, and never will. It is walking over to a group of your peers, and trying to hide the little squeak of nervousness, ask if you can sit with them at lunch, knowing they have every right to turn you down for everything from what music you like to whether or not you like certain sports.
Courage is the ability to say that you don't care to join in a certain activity with a group of your peers, by whom you are judged and sentanced to acceptance or sentanced to be made fun of and disregarded for weeks on end.
Courage is asking questions of your faith, questioning whether or not you believe in one specific faith or many aspects of several faiths. It is wondering if you will ever be awakend religously or not. It is asking all the questions that you have deep inside yourself.
Courage is setting a goal and fulfilling that goal. It is saying at the age of three that at five you will swim, and when your fifth birthday comes, jumping into your grandparents' pool, and begining to splash around, when you've never touched the pool water before.
What is courage you ask? Nan Knighton once stated, "To me there is no such thing as courage unless at it's base there is fear." I fully agree with her. It is a force, a feeling, and a motivation that comes from the heart that makes you continue on with your life and its many trials in spite of the fear that lurks inside us all.

Subject: ! SHE"S HOT!
Date: 3/13/2003 3:01 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: OneroundKO
Message-id: <[email protected]>

It looked like she gained some weight though, i bet that guy had a great time with her though, man she's thick! Hey elizabeth, call me when you turn 18.


Subject: Re: ! SHE"S HOT!
Date: 3/13/2003 3:07 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Jinko14765
Message-id: <[email protected]>

dude u r a sick preson


Subject: Re: ! SHE"S HOT!
Date: 3/13/2003 3:12 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: AARVY
Message-id: <[email protected]>

No he's not. He's waiting until she's 18

Subject: Re: ! SHE"S HOT!
Date: 3/13/2003 3:50 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: OneroundKO
Message-id: <[email protected]>

Is'nt it nice that we can joke about this subject...geez people lighten up a little, she is a little hottie though:)


Subject: Re: ! SHE"S HOT!
Date: 3/13/2003 3:53 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Angelvixxon
Message-id: <[email protected]>

>Hey elizabeth, call me when you turn 18.

May that sick sentiment come back to haunt you when you have your OWN daughter some day.....


Subject: Re: ! SHE"S HOT!
Date: 3/13/2003 3:57 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: OneroundKO
Message-id: <[email protected]>

Hopefully with little lizzie :)

�

previous - next

�

Add your comments about today's entry!

Sign
Time for change! - 2004-02-04
Pay It Forward - 2003-08-10
CATS! - 2003-07-25
Happy 4th! - 2003-07-04
In Sirius Denial - 2003-07-01