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Where Cat is, the weather is:

Grrr...stupid counter reset itself!! >>_<<

Prisoner of Azkaban movie:

2003-01-01 - 5:58 p.m.

continuation of January 1, 2003...

About to go out for dinner, and use that $25 Dockside gift certificate...but I'm going to add in some things I feel are important...

I just got off the phone with Matthew...I am so relieved...it seems I had been angry with him for no reason. I still don't understand completely why I had to be brought home, but ah, well........
I was assuming too, too much when I thought he had had sex with his "friend" Jen there. He didn't. He told me, before he apparently knew I thought he slept with her, that he hasn't "given her any" since August. I was like, "...you didn't have sex with her?!" And he was like, "NO!" Almost offended. =) She isn't anything at ALL to look at, so it doesn't surprise me.......then again, he thinks I'm "beautiful"...*smirk*

I'm kind of surprised, though, that I wasn't suddenly happy and all-forgiving when I found out he didn't have sex with her. He did, though, insinuate that I am a "jealous bitch"...lol...don't read too much into that. He didn't *call* me that, per se, so I wasn't very offended. I just think he could have used a better term than that...

Also, I learned I'm scaring him off...*sigh* I guess maybe I am...I just, well, normally everyone I care anything about always tends to disappear when I want to be near them...=( I'm so afraid he'll disappear.
He told me he won't...he told me this days ago. I just, after I got off the phone with him, I'm not so sure exactly how he feels about me..........

He told me he really likes me, and wants to get to know me better......I think I'm shoving myself on him too much. He said he thought I was "psycho head job," his ex girlfriend, when I knocked on the window last night...but he thought, when he saw me, "that's good! *gasp* That's bad!"

Ah, well....I'm going to have to try with all my might to just *back off* from him for a little while....I know I'd be completely ecstatic if he were treating me the way I was treating him.........but he said I scared the shit out of him just showing up last night like that. I guess...I don't know what I'll do. He said he just can't give me all the time and attention right now that I've been giving him.
As much as it'll hurt, waiting for calls and the like, I think I'm going to just stay away for a while. I get attached way too quickly...I need to learn to back off...

My new years resolutions:

(in no particular order)

~Do everything in my power to make myself happy.

~I'm not going to try to change to suit anyone else.

~Lose weight...not for anyone else, but for me...at my pace, how I want, and I will not let anyone tell me I'm not good enough, when I think I am.

~Make amends with people I have to see every day.

~Stop spending money so darn frivilously.

~I will obtain information on attending school.

~Learn that being able to go online and check my Email and chat with people isn't always that important, and it can usually wait.

I have to go out for dinner now...I'm making some linkage banners for myself now, and I will be putting them up on a special page shortly.

TAH! =D

11:06 pm